Rough Week

I wanted to write a little something today to express my gratitude for awesome friends. I have had an icky week and in the last couple days my friends have really lifted me up and helped me overcome once again.

So the last time I reported anything about my depression, I had gotten off the Cymbalta and was feeling fine (around Jan 2009). Well, about 6 months after I got off the Cymbalta it started to creep back in. Poor Eric took the brunt of it that time. He encouraged me to go to the doctor and get back on the medication. So when I went back, I asked for another anti-depressant that didn't cost so darn much..and my doc put me on Effexor. (This was around July 2009) Loved it! Things were really getting back on track again. So, fast forward to January 2010, I switched to Kaiser due to the ridiculous rates that Blue Cross was trying to charge us. It is Kaiser policy to have a patient meet with a psychiatrist in order to be prescribed anti-depressants. So I met with Dr. Groot and he gave me some interesting statistics. I don't remember the exact stats but he said that once a person has one "episode" of depression, the are X% more likely to have another. And once a person has had two episodes, the likelihood of another is even higher, and so forth. That is when I decided that if I have to be on an anti-depressant for the rest of my life, then so be it. I'd rather be happy than deal with this roller-coaster ride. The problem is strictly hormonal - and if my body has trouble regulating hormones, then I need to do whatever is necessary to get them on track.

Alright, so around the same time we switched to Kaiser, we decided that we wanted to start thinking about having another baby. So Dr. Groot switched me to Zoloft which is on the list of approved meds for pregnancy. I've been on it since January, got pregnant in March and everything's been going great. Well, last weekend I slacked off and forgot to take my pill for about 3 days in a row. On the 3rd day, I was talking to my mom and saying that I kept forgetting to take my pill, but that I was feeling okay - hmm...maybe baby hormones are helping regulate me...haha...nope. Day 4 I remembered to take a pill, but was beginning to feel pretty down. My patience left me, Anna was getting on my very last nerve and I was so very tired and irritable. Trying to keep up with Anna's inquisitiveness (is that a word?) has become a full time job and I'm just. so. tired. Yesterday I called my friend Monica just to say hello and have some adult conversation and totally lost it. Break. Down. She was fabulous and "talked me off the ledge" so to speak. She has 4 kids of her own and had some really great suggestions which I've put into practice today and things are going a lot better! So I had also mentioned on Facebook yesterday that I was having a rough day - and if anyone wanted a 2 1/2 year old, they were welcome to come and get her. Well, my sweet friend Stefanie showed up on my doorstep and whisked the kids away so I could get some rest. Then she invited us to dinner as well! What a treat! So to top it off, I had an appointment this morning and my friend Jennifer D. took my girls to the park for a playgroup while I went to the appt. I know that doesn't seem like a big deal, but all these things have lifted me so much - and made me (once again) realize just how lucky I am.

I'm so grateful for my faith, for modern medicine (!), for my extremely supportive husband, and the amazing friends I am so lucky to have. *HUGS*