Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Mixed Emotions

Our neighbor is off her meds again.  She is paranoid schizophrenic, and for some reason, she has it in her head that we are evil.  She thinks we are in the mafia, that we're storing dead bodies in our (non-existent) basement, etc.  Her current complaint, which kept us up at 1am this morning is that we planted 4 little trees in our front yard right along the property line.  Now, when she complains, she doesn't write nasty letters or knock on our door and complain, at least not yet) - she goes out in her driveway and yells towards our house - really really loudly - usually in the wee hours of the morning.  We call the cops, and last night - they showed up a split second after she shut her door and holed herself up inside.  I have such mixed emotions because on the one hand, I'm angry that she's causing stress in our lives, I'm angry at "the system" that makes it really really difficult to get her the help she needs.  On the other hand, I recognize that it is a mental illness and that she truly has no idea what she's doing.  When she is medicated, she is a pleasant neighbor - I know that there is a good person inside there, and I want to help her.  These emotions pull me in different directions all day long. I want to plant more trees just to piss her off, but I know that that is not the right thing to do.  So today I just watered and fertilized my trees, and planted some lavender plants - it felt just defiant enough to feel like I'm doing something but maintaining my integrity in the process (I hope).  It's very difficult to keep the anger at bay.  In the meantime I have a fence guy coming out tomorrow to quote us on a fence around the front yard - at least then she can't get on to our property.  Ugh. 


Kath said...

Imagine she was hit by a car and had a severe head injury-
which is why she is acting this way.

It might help- but I get it, mental illness is so extremely difficult. You are a better woman than I. Keep your head up.